"Unlearning Failure: How to Redefine Your Belief System for Success"

"Redirection" NOT "Perfection, and STOP Fearing Failure"

Top of Cathedral Rock Vortex. Upward Flow Energy was WILD. Photo taken by: GWVproductions

I couldn't think of a better time to talk about how so many of us fall victim to viewing our experiences through the negative lens of "failure" when we feel as if we fall "short" with an experience, an event, a job, a competition, or even a task. We often use negative terms or attach negative emotions to an experience we fall "short on" or feel like we failed. However, I found so much freedom, peace, happiness, and contentment with myself and my experiences when I discovered I was falling victim to a self limiting belief system anytime I labeled myself as a failure or was scared to fail.

Failure really doesn't exist unless you allow it to. The moment you stop believing in failure is the moment you will be able to upgrade your belief system, and start FEELING and KNOWING your experiences are meant to happen to you for the purpose of redirection, alignment, and growth.

So here are some inventory questions I encourage you to ask yourself in the present moment. These questions helped upgrade my life and be more at peace with unforeseeable or unpredicted life experiences and outcomes:

1. Am I labeling my experiences, trials, tribulations, and precious moments in life as "failures" when they don't go as planned?

2. When I go through an experience in life that doesn't pan out the way I anticipated does this embarrass me or cause negative thought patterns/emotions to my self worth?

3. When I go through an experience in life that doesn't pan out the way I anticipated do I create a laundry list of excuses for why I "failed"

4. When I go through an experience in life that doesn't pan out the way I anticipated does it make me lock my emotions and vulnerability away into a vault and throw the key away to never let them resurface again..?

5. When I go through an experience in life that doesn't pan out the way I anticipated does it make me feel miserable, anxious, hostile, or aggressive in nature?

6. Do I not partake in certain experiences because of fear of what others will think about me, or "label" me as.

7. Realistically- Am I setting the bar too high/or too low for myself and my goals/accomplishments in life? How do I improve if I am on either spectrum?

I can say a few years ago I would have answered yes to a lot of the above questions. and I still fall victim to living life in this lens from time to time. Just because you go through a vulnerable moment of labeling yourself as a failure, start comparing yourself to others, or self deprecating- doesn't mean you are a coward, are sick, or weak- it just means you are human.

The real superpower is having the ability to be aware when you are living your life through the lenses of fearing failure, and other self deprecating thought patterns. When we live life through a perfection lens and with constant fear of failure, we have difficulty being present and allowing life to unfold around us exactly how god, the holy spirit, and universe wants it to. We need to release wanting to control every moment in our life. The more we try to control situations and experiences-the more negative emotions and thought patterns will continue to lock us down, downgrade, and drain us of our overall happiness.

That is why I continue to share all my hardships with social media, and am really inspired by others who share the ups, the downs, and the in between as well. When people spend their time only sharing victories it paints a picture to younger and future generations that it is not okay to stumble and fall. It's very uncommon for people to admit their failures, frustrations, stagnancy with their job/passions. We tend to see more of the "good news, the accolades, the awards... rather than the stories of the 9 tries a person made before succeeded on the 10th. This creates that limiting belief system of fearing "failure" because it is often times misconstrued that in order to succeed is not to fail at ALL.

Which is why so many of us including myself fall victim to looking at our experiences as a failure when we don't meet up to the expectations we set out for ourselves. BUT I encourage you to see your experiences through the lens of "redirection and growth" rather than "failure/perfection"

I am hoping this blog post will provide you with the tools and strategies to face life's storms, and come to acceptance with the outcome, even when it is not the outcome you have hoped for. Life's moments and experiences are bigger than us, and in the moments we feel the most defeated, like a failure, like you are stumbling, and like you've fallen ten times and can't get up, are the moments the holy spirit and the universe are redirecting you to keep holding on, because one day you will see the lesson and blessing in it all. The tough times are the times you have to hang on and have faith that your experiences are bringing you or keeping you in alignment with your happiest, highest, and most ideal self. Those who watch over us will put us through a time of "redirection" because they always have our best interest at heart, and know long before us what we need in any present moment, even if it is not the outcome we had in mind.

My recent experience is a testimony of redirection not "failure" and initially I fell victim to labeling myself as a "failure."

For those of you new to my blog I am a professional body builder. Last Saturday, I recently competed in my first professional body building show, and didn't even place. I've spent the last three years and a grueling 14 week competition prep making tremendous sacrifices for the sport of body building and for my body building show. I gave up drinking, going out to eat, staying up late, social gatherings, hobbies, passions, time with friends/family, and serious energy to embark on the journey of winning my body building show. I exercised for two hours 5-6 times a week for the last two years, and for 2 years weighed out everything I ate. All for one competition where I didn't even place in the top 5 of my class. So initially when I found out I lost my show, and didn't even place in my class I spiraled downward with my thought patterns. I labeled myself as a failure, not good enough, undeserving of ever winning, a loser, a joke, an embarrassment to my friends, etc...

BUT... the newest and highest version of me knows that my ego is a horrible roommate in my head, and doesn't deserve my time or energy. 120 professional body building competitors (myself included) showed up to compete. Of those 120 professional athletes, 20 of those competitors including myself fought for the overall in the professional bikini division of body building. Each competitor being beautiful, strong, hard working, and courageous.

So I changed my focus to the lens of redirection rather than the lens of failure/perfection quickly after I realized how horrible I was talking to myself. I was aware that my thought patterns were initially negative, and I changed them. I began telling myself positive thought patterns.

Some of my positive thought patterns were:

• I am honored to stand next to 20 women who worked just as hard as I did and made similar sacrifices to mine to be "show shape" ready on show day.

• I am grateful that this competition prep-I reconnected my relationship with god and the holy spirit.

• I am grateful that for the last few years I have such amazing new and old friends who have supported me through a time I have really prioritized my physical health.

• I am honored to be able to challenge my physical and nutritional health the way I did over the last two years.

• I am grateful to have the finances and abundance to travel to Phoenix and compete in a show that I dedicated my time and energy to the last two years.

• I am grateful to explore a new town and make new travel experiences with my significant other

• I am grateful for a time to reconnect and recharge my spiritual/mental health with a vacation out in Phoenix post show.

I may not have won my show, but I did win that day because my current self was able to recognize that my old negative thought patterns were coming back to bite me and with a vengeance.

So I made it a motive to let my positive mindset win that day.... big time. If I would have let my ego win, or my old self win.... I would have lost sight of the present moment and what I gained from my experience.

What I gained/was redirected on from the outcome of my show:

• I gained a trip to Phoenix with my significant other where we hiked new places, tried amazing foods, took awesome pictures, and made new memories

• I gained experience as a PROFFESSIONAL athlete which will benefit me in my future body building endeavors. This loss will just make me better and stronger currently and in the future.

• I gained respect, gratitude, and humility for the fact I got to stand next to veteran female body building athletes and grace the stage with them.

• I gained peace, balance, and alignment by visiting one of the most spiritual places in the world (Sedona and the four energy vortexes-this will make for another blog post one day). If I wouldn't have come to Phoenix I wouldn't have gotten to visit Sedona and the amazing energy associated with it.

• I recharged my mental and spiritual health by getting to be out in nature and experience new places, foods, cultures, and human interactions.

So all in all, I felt called to share that life does come in storms, and sometimes the storms feel like failure, a loss, or don't make sense. BUT..... what these storms do is give you an opportunity to be "redirected," to keep you in alignment with your truest, and most authentic self, and to live life exactly how those above us intend for us to.

So I encourage you to practice awareness in the present moment, and become aware if you are falling victim to the fear of failure lens- and change your perspective to seeing the mishaps of life as a motive to be redirected, grown, and molded into your highest, happiest, and best self. We are human, and we will fall victim to negative thought patterns from time to time- but I hope you can find the courage to stand up to those thought patterns, and start experiencing life like a sailboat does. A sail boat does keep moving onward and forward with a direction in mind. However, that sailboat does not have fear, and allows the winds of life to redirect and guide it if needed. In the game of life, be more like a sailboat.

Much Love,

Julie

My quote of the night:

When your circumstances don't go as planned, don't focus on the one thing that failed.. focus on the thousand other things you learned, gained, and grew from the experience.

Top of Cathedral Rock Vortex. Upward Flow Energy was WILD. Photo taken by: GWVproductions