"The Transformative Power of Healing: How Healing Can Change Your Life"

Find Your Healthiest Self Again Through Inward Growing and Healing

Healing has been something I've really focused on the last few years of my wellness journey. I have been working on healing because with some inward inventory I noticed that a huge roadblock with my mental and spiritual health was my inability to grow as a person because I let my negative experiences in life consume me. I now recognize that when you look at any experience as a lesson rather than with a victim "why me" mentality- you see the world in a much brighter/more abundant lens. It is crazy thinking about it now.. because a few years ago outwardly I came off to a lot of people as caring, kind, and selfless- BUT that was not what I used to feel like on the inside. More days than not I was falling victim to letting my experiences control and dictate my happiness. My past traumas and negative experiences were not looked at through a positive lens, so this caused me to develop a victim mentality. I put up walls, mental road blocks, and ran away from facing, feeling, and growing through my negative trauma and experiences. Over the last few years I have worked on inward learning, healing, and growing to become the best and most ideal version of myself. Recognizing and becoming aware that you are falling victim to your experiences that are out of your control is the only way you will be able to begin healing, reprogramming your thought patterns, and living life with a more abundant lens. So follow along if you are looking for some tips, tricks, and even transparency with healing, and I will also share some my own healing and growing journey! 

When I first started a healing journey I immediately felt huge resistance, and a lot of regression before seeing one sign of progress. Just like any new routine or habit that you adopt- you initially are faced with friction, self doubt, resentment, and frustration. Changing your daily thought patterns, behaviors, actions, and habits can take weeks, months, and years, and it will never be perfect because you are human. Our brain loves to take the path of least resistance, so trying to grow as a person with your mind, body, and spirit usually comes at the cost of a lot of ongoing friction in your life.

I've learned healing through previous experiences and trauma is the same way too. It can get messy and unbearable at times. It takes a lot of unraveling, untethering, and acceptance to really heal through certain parts of your life and the flaws that you so willingly try to hide and bury deep down inside of you.

For me personally, I started to recognize the same lesson and same scenarios being played on repeat in my life. I didn't see change and healing until I decided to go internal and question why does the same lesson and experience keep being presented to me over and over again. I have recently begun calling these negative experiences lessons, because when you look at your experiences as lessons rather than in a negative light- you are able to be humble, honest, and stay in alignment with your best self by working through them and not burying them deep inside of you to never bring them up again.

Reflecting on a lesson doesn't mean you have to act like everything is okay.. you can admit the lesson is tough, and that you are having a hard time with it- but it is important that you don't allow that experience to consume you, and change you into someone who views the world with a victim mentality. These people are always saying things like "why me," and good things only happen to people because of "luck." These people fall victim to their circumstances, and don't have appreciation or gratitude for the good things going on in their life- they only focus on the negatives happening around them- which makes their external world negative.

And I'm only rambling about having a victim mentality surrounding your experiences, because I used to be one of these people, and I still am at times. However- I consciously make an effort to recognize and become aware if I'm stumbling back into these old behaviors, actions, habits, limiting beliefs and thought patterns.

When you are noticing the same lessons being presenting to you over and over again.. this is a sign from god/source that you are in need of healing. It is okay to accept that the other person is probably at fault too, but it doesn't hurt to hold yourself accountable and inventory if your previous traumas and insecurities are causing you to react a certain way. We all have trauma and insecurities that we project onto others, and the only way to find alignment with our truest and most authentic self- is to reflect on these experiences and come to a mutual understanding that sometimes our reactions to certain situations are a byproduct of our traumas and insecurities we try to hide from others. So when you come to the point that you don't want to keep having the same lesson over and over again and on repeat.. you have to choose to heal.. no matter how frictional and hard it seems at first...

The first step to healing is to recognize you are hurting, or recognize the way you project onto others or get triggered by certain environments and conversations can be directly related to your previous traumas and experiences from as early as your childhood.

How many times have you seen someone fall victim to their environment or to how someone treats them? A great example is someone who talks about only having partners who cheat on them. This person keeps picking unfaithful partners. May as well label their partners as James 1, James II, and James III. It's like they keep picking the same character on the inside, but they just look a little different externally. Like build an avatar on your computer. Your avatar may look different on the outside, but their inward traits seem to always be the same. This person keeps picking people with different looks but the same traits, habits, actions, behaviors, values, and morals. They are untrustworthy, selfish, unable to commit, and deceitful. Obviously- any person who cheats or is unfaithful is displaying horrible behavior patterns. But if this is a constant lesson you keep having in your life- stop pointing your finger and placing blame solely on the other people cheating on you.. take some time to recognize this is a pattern, a repeating lesson, and something that continuously happens in your life so INWARDLY you may have some healing to do.

So why does the same lesson keep happening, and what can you learn from it through healing? In the example above- a person with poor self esteem and poor self worth will allow cheating and untrustworthy people into their life subconsciously, and this usually stems from unhealed trauma, experiences, and insecurities. It doesn't have to be a partner either, it can be a family member, friend, or co-worker. These people try to bring you down, they make you question your worth, and when around them you don't feel good about yourself.

My first boyfriend in high-school cheated on me my junior year. Looking back on it now I laugh and am so grateful for this lesson today because it made me fight for ME, my self worth, my self esteem, and to truly be grateful for the right people who have come into my life and supported me. It has also given me so much opportunity to learn and grow since I had to keep facing this lesson with friends and partners throughout my 20s.

Back when my high-school boyfriend cheated on me and the following boyfriends I had who cheated or were unfaithful to me following him- caused my brain and ego to take on the identity of a person who was labeled as not being interesting, not worthy or capable of being loved, and not being enough for my friends, future partners, or family members.

At the time of dating "toad after toad" lol... I didn't have the tools and strategies to decipher that was my ego talking harshly about me, and that those were thoughts that were not true.

Fast forward to now... two thousand podcasts later, lots of self help books, and a wellness coaching certification/minor in psychology- I was able to provide myself the tools and strategies for healing through these negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs, and something I so divinely feel like sharing with others because I was that person who had a limiting belief system that I was not worthy of high value partners and friends. With that victim mentality and "why me" mindset- I was constantly seeing the same lessons repeat in my life. Friends who didn't truly want to get to know me for me and feeling like the "filler friend," partners who didn't value me for me and what I had to offer as a person, and people pleasing so much because I never felt like enough for others. It was so draining- that I felt hollow inside.

I fell victim time after time to settling for less than I deserved, feeling devalued, and feeling criticized. This caused me to project my insecurities onto others in the form of jealousy, rage, resentment, anger, mood swings, and a lot of negative self talk about myself and others. When someone would hurt my feelings I would hold a grudge and refuse to face my problems, and talk to them about how they made me feel- because I was worried they would label me as "unlovable". Over time I was able to recognize that I truly was the only person suffering. People hold onto their own traumas through their upbringing and experiences, so a lot of times- a person isn't even aware you are mad or upset with them because they have their own fears, insecurities, and inner battles to fight with. The only way you can heal through feelings of resentment, jealousy, and bitterness is facing it head on. It is so important to hold true to your inner voice and wisdom when approaching conversations, experiences, and social settings.

Facing all the self doubt and limited beliefs that were imbedded into my though patterns, daily habits, and behaviors was not easy. It took months and even years to change the way I spoke to myself. I still struggle with it to this day.. for me- the biggest change was when I began enjoying time with myself to learn about who I was, what makes me joyous, what makes me grounded, and what makes me motivated to serve others.

When you learn about yourself by spending time in solitude you do not allow others to take your power away. You stand strong and humble in all that you are. You begin enjoying the process of loving you for you... your strengths, weaknesses, flaws, insecurities, and past experiences. You learn to fall in love with all those parts of you. You wouldn't be here today without them.

The biggest thing I have noticed about healing from situations, conversations, and past traumas- is it does hurt initially, but as time goes on you have an ability to live life in the present moment more freely, joyously, and unattached to old resentment and insecurities. We spend so much time hiding our insecurities and shadows- that we don't truly live life in alignment with our ideal self until we face them and heal through them. So after reading this post, I encourage you to do some inward inventory.. start monitoring your thought patterns and how you talk to yourself. Change your lens, perspective and how you view the world from a negative light to a positive light. Start talking to yourself how you would talk and treat others, and lastly- if you are trying to hide parts of yourself from others- those are the parts of you that need healed most.. so Happy Healing.

Sincerely,

Julie